God, loss, fear, and family...Happy birthday!

Today is my birthday! It's been a tough year to say the least. I lost my dad 5 months ago today. He didn't usually remember dates too well, but last year he sent me a card for my birthday. Probably with the prompting of his ex-wife and her dedication to try and help him remember things! But it is something I treasure. I read it at his eulogy.

My Dad

He was able to visit for Thanksgiving, and it was the last time I ever saw him. He had multiple health problems, but was a strong man that never wanted to show pain or ask for help. I share his many of those traits with him.

I also went through some of the most trying times immediately following that. I was told I possibly had MS and then went through tests, MRIs, and months of fear until I finally found out it wasn't MS. I spent nearly two weeks with an excruciating headache and still suffer from some stiffness in my leg from the entire episode. It wasn't a stroke, but they're not really sure what it was. I had Bell's Palsy in my face, but whatever it was also affected the entire right side of my body. My worst fear was that I would lose my ability to sew, knit, and crochet. I prayed to God that He would please spare my arms. I could work without my legs, but I needed my arms and hands. He saw fit to not only let me keep the use of my arms, but to heal me totally and completely.

So along with the bad comes some good. I was healed and given a new lease on life. My little quilting business has grown and I've become much more adept at handling multiple orders. I have moved into designing some knitting patterns and found I love doing test knits. My life is fuller. It is more complete. I do things that I enjoy and take part in things that I normally wouldn't.

My son getting drenched waiting for Colton Dixon

A couple of weeks ago I took my kids to Rock the Universe in Orlando, FL. We spent 3 days riding the rides in Universal and Islands of Adventure. We listened to Christian bands we hadn't heard before and some that are near and dear to our hearts. It was too crowded and it rained all night during the first night, but I was able to see Colton Dixon (American Idol participant) and Christ Tomlin up close and personal.
We camped out at the KOA in a tent. It rained so hard that our tent collapsed (yes, I had it staked into the ground) and I was up until well after midnight trying to put it back up, find dry blankets, take a shower, and get the kids in bed. I wouldn't trade it for anything!

Chris Tomlin

Our campsite

Usually, I wouldn't have spent the money, taken the trip by myself (without husbannd), or attempted to camp out all in one weekend. But it was an experience I and my 3 older children will NEVER, EVER forget. We're planning to go again next year. Hopefully with less rain, but whatever comes our way.

So it has been a year of high emotions, good and bad, finding God in impossible situations, getting closer to my family, and changes. I want to celebrate life, and all that it brings, and look back on what I've learned and grow. That's really all we can do, right? There will always be challenges that make us better. Fears we must overcome. Loss we never really "get over." And growth through it all that changes us. I'm blessed I have a soul mate otherwise know as "husband" to tackle everything with and a family I can rely on through it all. My mom is still with me, and I treasure her so much. I have an amazing sister that I love dearly and a brother I've grown closer to. My "extended" siblings from my dad's first marriage have also grown more beloved in my heart. I don't get to see them as often as I'd like, but I hope to change that too! Out with the old, in with the new. I will celebrate every year I age and never look at it as a loss of youth; I will see it as a year of gain and an opportunity for growth!

Enjoying Your Health

Blogging has been hit and miss the last few months. I hinted a few posts back about my dad's passing on March 20. It came as a shock to our family. He had just come down to visit in November and stayed for Thanksgiving. We new he had some health issues such as COPD and arthritis, but he was also 79 years old and seemed to be doing well for his age. He had been in the hospital a few times for pneumonia and some breathing concerns as well. Still, when we found out he was in the last time, we were told he "may not make it." He went into an induced coma so they could do some exploratory and find out what was making him have severe stomach pains. He never came back out of the coma and died from what was later called septic stomach.  Basically, he had infection in his stomach lining that had spread and it wasn't caught in time.

I took a week-long trip from Georgia to Michigan while my husband stayed with my kids. They were all still in class and we couldn't afford the expense of seven people traveling to the funeral. It was pretty stressful emotionally and financially, but we were recovering.

On the evening of April 10 I was eating dinner and realized that the right side of my face felt numb and didn't seem to be working right. I dismissed it as too much spice in the food and went to bed that evening hoping it would be gone by morning. By the next morning, the right side of my face was almost totally unresponsive and my right arm and leg were shaking and weak. I went to the doctor at the insistence of my husband and they rushed me in, performed tests for pin stroke and Bell's Palsy, and then sent me for an emergency MRI at the hospital. On the way home from the hospital, my doctor calls to tell me that they think they have spotted Multiple Sclerosis on the MRI results.

Of course, I was devastated. We spent 2 weeks waiting for a neurology appointment, during which time I began to deal with the fact that I had MS. I also went into heavy prayer mode and gathered those around me that were praying souls to intercede on my behalf. My heart was heaviest with the fact that I would eventually lose my ability to knit, crochet, quilt, and sew because I would lose the right side of my body. During those two weeks, however, my face began to respond again.

Still retaining some soreness in my right leg, my arm eventually had no more side effects and I found that after some practice I could spit, whistle, and wink once again. This was pretty exciting. We went to the neurologist and he viewed the MRI. His reaction was that he did not believe it was MS. After some tests and questions about my condition, he told me he believed that what I had was bad migraines and Bell's Palsy. Imagine my relief!

He needed a few more confirmations, though. On May 10, I went in to have a lumbar puncture done. I was told I may have a headache for 24-48 hours afterward, but that drinking plenty of fluids and caffeine would help. So that's what I did. Unfortunately, my body had other plans. On May 14, I was in the hospital with severe head pain and vomiting. I was given intravenous fluids, migraine medications, and antibiotics. I had developed a sinus and urinary tract infection along with the migraines and loss of fluid from the  lumbar puncture. I can't even begin to explain the pain I've gone through in the last 8 days from the headache.

So here I am now, still with a bit pressure in my head and neck from the infection, but recovering. I still have nausea from the antibiotics and have migraine medications should another arise. The last couple of months have been hell. Emotionally and physically I'm worn out. But through it all I have come to appreciate the benefits of good health! For those suffering with chronic pain and illnesses my heart goes out to you. To go from being an active and healthy person to one that requires constant observation and assistance is a shock to the system.

I'm not sure where my next steps will lead. Hopefully a return to good health and healing. But I also believe I will pursue some things to help those that are suffering constantly. I wish you all good health and if you are suffering, my prayers are with you. I believe that prayer brought me through and healed me from what they initially diagnosed. I believe it can help you too. Love to all.